Have you ever said, ” I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.” ? I hear this over and over from spouses who are caregivers. Some of you may come from a time when no one voiced their feelings to the world over social media. Your children and grandchildren look at things differently. They share their feelings frequently. All you have to do is view social media sites like facebook, instagram or tiktok and you will see that they do not mind telling others when they are lonely, afraid, mad and happy.
Since your children and grandchildren are free to express themselves, you should be free to express yourself as well. After they have been forced to stay at home and are being locked away from their social life, they can identify a little more with what your life is like. When this pandemic is over you need to tell your grandchildren this. “I am lonely and miss my friends too, but Grandpa can’t be left alone”. Boldly tell your children “I really could use a little more help”. They just might hear you louder and clearer than they ever have.
Help is a two way street. One must ask for help and one must offer help. Perhaps they have waiting on you to ask, but did not want to make you feel inadequate. Maybe you have been a little too independent and stubborn. Perhaps there are valuable lessons we can all learn about asking for and giving help.
If you are a child caring for a parent or parents, you know the exhaustion of bearing the load. If you are bearing it alone and there are siblings, speak up. Identify the areas they can assist you with and divide the load. Each family is different and the family dynamics are different. Find a moderator that can help you sort the responsibilities out. Now is not a time to rehash old differences or rivalries. It is the time to forgive and work together.